I'm not sure how I feel about being asked to portray 1930's film star Marie Dressler at our historic district's 'Living History' celebration tomorrow. The organizer said I'd be 'perfect' for the role. I have to admit I hope it's not because I look so much like her.
Maybe they chose me because of my impressive acting resume that spans some thirty years. In high school, (1978), I made my debut as the Fiddler in 'Fiddler on the Roof'. It was in mime, so I had no lines and sat on a roof, (actually a ladder behind a cardboard rendition of a Russian shack), 'playing' an invisible fiddle while a girl who could actually play the fiddle, er, violin, sawed away in the orchestra pit. It was harder than it looked. Think about it. I played a metaphor, for heaven's sake. In satin bloomers and white face tettering ten feet above the stage without a net. It was not easy. Meryl Streep would understand.
Then in my next brilliant role, twenty years later, in an attempt to bolster my ego since I was a full-time mom, I played Nellie in a community theater production of 'Ye Old Cookie Shoppe', also known as 'Nellie Was a Baker 'Cause She Kneaded the Dough". What? You don't remember it? It was a melodrama. Fine genre. Underappreciated. Sophisticated. Refined. Come to think of it, why don't they have a melodrama category at the Tony's? Anyway, we put on quite a show. We had the audience alternately boo-ing the villain, Snidley Something-Or-Other and cheering the hero, Handsome Harry, as he untied me from the railroad tracks. Popcorn was flying. Oh, it was high art, alright. Or it would've been art if you were high. Maybe.
So, now my public (Old Frontenac, pop. 302), awaits my performance as Marie Dressler, star of "Dinner at Eight", famous for being, what was it? Oh, yes, unattractive and overweight, but possessing a good sense of humor.
I am ready for my close up.